Reflecting on the Middle School Years
Let me back up before someone decides to come for me about this blog post, this is my truth and I am sharing it for my own peace and sanity. If someone finds it helpful I am glad I could shed a little light on our experience.
As we near the end of our middle school journey, I find myself in a season of deep reflection. My son is only 12 and technically suppose to be entering 7th grade this upcoming year, but because we’ve always homeschooled with flexibility, we’ve done hybrid years, bouncing between grade levels based on his needs. This past year was a 7th/8th-grade blend, and the year ahead will be 8th/9th.
One big question I’ve been grappling with is:
Do we stick with a full 8th-grade curriculum or continue our hybrid model? Should I savor this final year of middle school or press ahead into high school coursework?
Letting My Child Take the Lead
Here’s what I know for sure:
My son asked for a more comprehensive science curriculum this year. And we decided on one together. Yes, I said we. Too often, as homeschool parents, we map out the entire school year without ever asking our kids what they want. Some of us ask out of formality, but do we really listen? Then we just continue on with our own agenda. We get caught in the race for rigor, credits, dual enrollment and forget that they’re the ones learning it. Just making decision because it just easier and manageable for us. Its our kids doing the work and carrying the load. Then we get upset if things aren’t progressing the way we want and then the stress and the battles begin.
Now, don’t get me wrong my husband and I still set core goals. There are non-negotiable. But because my son clearly expressed his passions (medicine and law), we’ve made space for his interests to take center stage. We follow his lead and build around that.
Our Math Journey: From Burnout to Breakthrough
We’re continuing with Denison Math and Mr. D Math this year. And before I go further yes, Denison Math does have a track for students who struggle, but that’s not why we chose it. My son actually loves math and has always excelled. We chose Denison because it helped him fall back in love with the subject.
A few years ago, I forced him through Saxon 6/5 right after finishing Abeka 3 he placed out of Saxon 4/5. Why did I do this? I am going to keep it real I was SELFISH!!! Saxon worked for me, I loved it and after all its one of the top tier math curriculum in the homeschool community. Plus I dropped well over $100 for this curriculum plus the online platform. It was overkill. Too many repetitive problems, too much over explanation, and not enough challenge. He confessed to me this year that he didn’t learn anything new that year. That he felt like he was suffocating. That it was just busywork and he was bored. He hated it.
Imagine my shock. He held that in for years.
After that, we ditched Saxon for good. We transitioned through the last levels of Math-U-See and completed Mr. D’s Preparing for Pre-Algebra in one academic year. Then we landed on Denison Pre-Algebra and I saw the light come back into him. He was thriving, not just surviving.
He’s now moved into Denison Algebra 1 and Mr. D Algebra Gamified. He uses Mr. D for quizzes and exams and is acing every one. He’s confident, calm, and free to enjoy other subjects too. Since we aren’t spending hours on one subject. We are tag teaming note-taking which has worked great for us at the suggestion of homeschool mom friend. We are working math together, he is happy and welcomes doing math six days out of the week. HE has sat a goal for himself he wants finish geometry by Summer 2026. At the time of me writing this he is wrapping chapter 12 and has 5 more chapters to go in Algebra 1. He has a great foundation and is doing really well in his SAT math prep class this summer. He even took classes at John Hopkins Center for Talented Youth online math class and did very well with his middle school and high school peers. In May he did some professional testing for gifted and talented kids and he placed high on the math section.
The Cost of Not Listening
Looking back, not listening to him that year cost us more than just time. It caused unnecessary power struggles and damaged his trust. What did I actually teach him that year? That I didn’t trust his instincts about his learning.
That moment changed everything for me.
Now, he has a voice in our homeschool planning. His concerns are valid, his input matters. Yes, he still does hard things, and no, he won’t love every subject but he knows I trust him. That I see him and not the curriculum!
Beyond the Checklist
I don’t want our homeschool to just be a checklist of college prep boxes. I want it to be a partnership rooted in respect. He’s not in 1st grade anymore he’s capable of evaluating curriculum, reviewing class descriptions, and assessing if something is a good fit. The whole purpose of us choosing homeschool was give him a voice in his education and not perpetuate the same educational system we wanted no parts of.
I almost made the same mistake again this year by enrolling him in a class without consulting him. But he looked it over, did his own research, and told me it wasn’t a good fit. I reviewed it myself and he was absolutely right.
It wasn’t a fit for us. And maybe next year it will be. But this year, we’re choosing peace, purpose, and partnership. If we need to change some things after giving it a good try that is okay, because he knows we have his back and will hold him accountable for his decisions and we trust him.
Little Learner and Mom 